Archive for the ‘Changes’ Category

The ‘O’ Word that Hits Grievers—and What to Do about It

Monday, October 3rd, 2016

lines of pencils, check boxes beside each, heart in middle

This one should be pretty easy to figure out.  The ‘O’ word that hits grievers is a common reaction to grief.  (more…)

The ‘I’ Word You Never Expected with Grief

Thursday, August 25th, 2016

person sitting alone on stairs_black and white

What is the ‘I’ word you never expected with grief?  Is it ‘indecision?’  No, that’s not surprising.  So many things changed along with your loss – so indecision on your part is not unexpected.  How about being ‘incapacitated?’  Well, you certainly may feel weakened or powerless in the face of your loss, but that’s not unexpected either.  (more…)

The ‘A’ Word No One Wants to Face in Grief

Thursday, August 11th, 2016

Letter A sitting on top of desk

What’s the ‘A’ word no one wants to face in grief?  And what’s the ‘A’ word those of us who have been through grief have had to wrestle with, time and again?  Who anticipated so many unexpected surprises, upsets, and fears associated with this word?

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Is There a Shortcut through Grief?

Monday, July 18th, 2016

Sun inside heart against sunset_shortcut through grief

How many of us have wondered, “Is there a shortcut through grief?” – and desperately wished that somehow, some way, we’d discover that quicker way.  (more…)

Grief Was Not the End of My Story

Tuesday, May 19th, 2015

HOPE graphic_grief_lossBy Judy Brizendine

I recently wrote a blog post titled “Do You Feel as Though Grief Is the End of Your Story?” – And I shared that, for a time, I wondered whether grief marked the end of mine. However, my story did not stop there. Thank God, grief was not the end. There’s a lot more to the story …

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Do You Feel as Though Grief Is the End of Your Story?

Monday, May 11th, 2015

Colorful sailboats on the water_griefBy Judy Brizendine

My life changed radically in 1998. It’s hard to believe that seventeen years have passed since then. However, flashes from those days will stay with me as long as I live. Do you feel as though grief is the end of your story? For a time, I thought grief marked the end of mine.

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Caution! Control Toxic Thinking and Create Positive Changes

Friday, April 24th, 2015

Yellow caution light_control toxic thinking_griefBy Judy Brizendine

Caution! Does toxic thinking seem to tag along with you? If so, what difference does it make?

Even if you are besieged by toxic thinking, it’s only ‘thoughts’ – right? What harm can there be in examining something in your mind, even if you are off track? (more…)

Quiet and Solitude—Friends or Enemies during Grief?

Thursday, April 2nd, 2015

Lonely beach_Gray Skies_Isolation_QuietBy Judy Brizendine

Are quiet and solitude friends or enemies during grief?  Sometimes we don’t recognize the things that help versus those that hurt us. And at times, things that are the most natural (and seem best) work against our healing. As in most circumstances, too much of a good thing can be bad. (more…)

Things I Wish I’d Known about Grief

Monday, March 23rd, 2015

By Judy BrizendineTunnel opening looking onto blue sky and beach

Apart from the sheer and utter pain of grief, I believe the rest of it is not what we expect. To be completely honest, until grief came crashing down on me, I’m not sure I had ever even given a thought to it – certainly not a serious thought. And I imagine most people fall into the same category as me. That was nearly seventeen years ago. Looking back, there were so many things I wish I’d known about grief. Here are a few for you to consider … (more…)

Why Is Chris Kyle’s Story So Important?

Wednesday, March 4th, 2015

American flag, cat, old barrel, blue skyBy Judy Brizendine

You know how it is when something makes such an impression on you, or affects you deeply, and you just can’t get it out of your mind. My husband and I went to see American Sniper a couple of weeks ago and I can’t stop thinking about what I saw. Even more, I can’t forget what I felt as I watched Chris Kyle’s story unfold on the screen. (more…)

3 Things in Life Are Certain — How Do You Respond to #3?

Wednesday, April 16th, 2014

orange and black Road Work Ahead sign_change_griefBy Judy Brizendine

We’re all familiar with the saying about two things no one can escape: death and taxes! But what about the third certainty in life? Any ideas? (more…)

Outstanding List of Online Resources for Coping with Grief

Friday, March 14th, 2014

metal container filled with bright yellow sunflowers_grief_copingI’m always watching for outstanding resources to recommend, and the article discussed in this post is filled with 115 helpful websites on grief and bereavement. I believe this list represents a collection of some of the very best online resources available for coping with grief and bereavement.

In this article on the MastersInCounseling.org website, you will find a wide range of resources directed toward grief brought about by a variety of life events, including but not limited to death. You’ll find information to help you understand, guidance to help you cope, and a supportive community so you know you are not alone.

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New Year, New Beginning — and We’re All in this Together!

Wednesday, February 5th, 2014

By Judy Brizendine

Leaves with gold, green and red highlights and light shining through_ hope_new beginningSomething about the idea of a new year, new beginning captures my mind and sends me down a road of reflection.  What will this year bring?  Where will we be this time next year?  What will have changed?  What would we like to change?  What do we plan to change?

Last year I purchased two little white erase boards. They’re small – about 5“ x 8” – but I love making my ‘to-do’ list on these boards, crossing out what I’ve completed, and finally erasing those items and starting again. I know this sounds really silly, but I take great pleasure in using these little zebra-edged boards to plan my activities and then wiping the boards clean and starting over. The action clears my mind! That’s how I think of a new year, new beginning. A fresh, blank slate. A new opportunity. (more…)

When You See No End to Your Grief Storm, What Can You Do?

Saturday, July 20th, 2013

Grief Storm_Coping with Grief_ Stunned By GriefThis question has been presented to me several times lately, so I’ve been wrestling with it in my mind. I wish I had a simple, clear-cut, and perfect answer about what you can do when you see no end to your grief storm. I don’t have a quick, easy response, but I hope I can help to provide answers and suggestions to those who find themselves in this place.

Circumstances of grief arise in all of our lives for reasons that do not involve the death of a loved one. Sometimes, as devastating as death can be, I truly believe there are situations even more difficult to deal with than the death of someone who means everything. Death brings finality into play. The outcome is certain. How you’ll deal with everything death brought about is a questions mark, but there’s no question that what happened is irreversible, and you have to figure out where and how to go on from there. That was my situation.

The questions and concerns I’ve been asked about have to do with extreme grief related to circumstances that have been going on for some time and there’s no end in sight.

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The Many Faces of Grief

Friday, February 15th, 2013

faces of grief_stormy turbulent clouds_blue sky peeking throughThe faces of grief are an ever-changing landscape unique to each person’s experience. Depending on where you are in the process, the face of your grief and the words you use to describe it will vary all over the map.

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