Archive for the ‘Coping with Grief’ Category

When the ‘U’ Word Is Missing, Grievers Suffer

Tuesday, August 15th, 2017

Letter U against gray textured backgroundGrief is messy and confusing.  It’s all-consuming.  And it’s unlike anything else you’ve been through.  Here’s where the ‘U’ word comes in.  When the ‘U’ word is missing grievers suffer, and their loved ones do, too. (more…)

Reject the ‘J’ Word that Devastates Grievers

Friday, July 28th, 2017

young woman crying_hands covering faceThe ‘J’ word that devastates grievers is something you probably would not intentionally do.  But you might unconsciously allow it to sneak in and influence what you think, do, or say.  (more…)

The ‘O’ Word that Hits Grievers—and What to Do about It

Monday, October 3rd, 2016

lines of pencils, check boxes beside each, heart in middle

This one should be pretty easy to figure out.  The ‘O’ word that hits grievers is a common reaction to grief.  (more…)

The ‘I’ Word You Never Expected with Grief

Thursday, August 25th, 2016

person sitting alone on stairs_black and white

What is the ‘I’ word you never expected with grief?  Is it ‘indecision?’  No, that’s not surprising.  So many things changed along with your loss – so indecision on your part is not unexpected.  How about being ‘incapacitated?’  Well, you certainly may feel weakened or powerless in the face of your loss, but that’s not unexpected either.  (more…)

The ‘A’ Word No One Wants to Face in Grief

Thursday, August 11th, 2016

Letter A sitting on top of desk

What’s the ‘A’ word no one wants to face in grief?  And what’s the ‘A’ word those of us who have been through grief have had to wrestle with, time and again?  Who anticipated so many unexpected surprises, upsets, and fears associated with this word?

  (more…)

Is There a Shortcut through Grief?

Monday, July 18th, 2016

Sun inside heart against sunset_shortcut through grief

How many of us have wondered, “Is there a shortcut through grief?” – and desperately wished that somehow, some way, we’d discover that quicker way.  (more…)

Hard Lessons Learned about Grief: How Can You Turn Things Around after a Tragedy?

Thursday, June 30th, 2016

group of skyscrapers showing opening up to blue sky

You just received some stunning news, and your world has been turned inside out and upside down.  What will you do, and how can you turn things around after a tragedy or a deep heartache and keep going?  Your first thought is, “I don’t know how I’m ever going to get through this.” Even though your world has stopped, everyone else’s world keeps going on as usual.  How will you get through this tragedy?  What will your life look like afterward?

(more…)

Don’t Be Afraid to Give Sorrow Words

Tuesday, January 12th, 2016

Stormy Dark Sky with Glimmer of Light on MountainscapeWhen I read an especially meaningful quote recently, I could not help but think about the holiday season and the struggle it ushers in for anyone who is grieving. Yet, it’s not just about the ‘holiday’ season, but the meaningful times we experience throughout the year. All of these times are especially tough for anyone who is grieving. William Shakespeare penned the insightful phrase, “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.” Grievers are often so self-conscious about the possibility of their feelings spilling out unwillingly or unexpectedly that their dread of special days intensifies even more.

(more…)

Three-Legged Stool Is Crucial, Particularly during Tough Times (like Grief)

Tuesday, November 24th, 2015

rustic and brightly colored three legged stoolsBy Judy Brizendine

Tough times require extraordinary measures. Sometimes you’re not at your strongest – because something has knocked the wind out of you. An event, circumstance, or condition leaves you reeling, and you try desperately to regain your balance and steady yourself again. During tough times (such as grief), a particular three-legged stool is crucial. The building blocks that form the foundation of this stool are vital to your ability to cope with tough times. (more…)

Grief Is Hard

Thursday, October 22nd, 2015

Gray stone heart surrounded by green mossBy Judy Brizendine

For once, let’s forget about dancing around the bush – or being politically correct. Let’s agree not to sweep the truth under the rug and stay silent. If you’ve faced a major loss, you know the truth. Grief is hard.

Even grief professionals are sometimes surprised and overwhelmed when they face a profound personal loss. (more…)

Reduce the Clutter and Focus on the Basics—in Life and in Grief

Friday, September 18th, 2015

Simple red building front, yellow door, bicycle, reduce clutter, grief healingI don’t know why this is true – but when you reduce the clutter in your physical surroundings, something takes place inside of you, too. When you clean out and discard things you don’t need, and organize what you decide to keep, it seems as though it’s easier to think, to move forward, and to do the things you need to do. Reduce the clutter and focus on the basics, and you will see benefits – in life and in grief.

(more…)

Making the Discovery—Finding Hope in Grief

Wednesday, August 12th, 2015

heart laying on dead wood with new growth all aroundI can’t imagine anybody being less prepared to face grief than I was―and if anyone had told me I might discover something good in grief—especially HOPE—I wouldn’t have believed them!

(more…)

How Do You Stand Back Up When Grief Knocks You Down?

Friday, June 5th, 2015

Golden sunrise peeking through clouds over ocean_hope_griefBy Judy Brizendine

Grief is a formidable force—and when it hits you directly, it holds the power to take you to your knees. What can you do? How do you stand back up when grief knocks you down?

(more…)

Do You Feel as Though Grief Is the End of Your Story?

Monday, May 11th, 2015

Colorful sailboats on the water_griefBy Judy Brizendine

My life changed radically in 1998. It’s hard to believe that seventeen years have passed since then. However, flashes from those days will stay with me as long as I live. Do you feel as though grief is the end of your story? For a time, I thought grief marked the end of mine.

(more…)

Caution! Control Toxic Thinking and Create Positive Changes

Friday, April 24th, 2015

Yellow caution light_control toxic thinking_griefBy Judy Brizendine

Caution! Does toxic thinking seem to tag along with you? If so, what difference does it make?

Even if you are besieged by toxic thinking, it’s only ‘thoughts’ – right? What harm can there be in examining something in your mind, even if you are off track? (more…)