Holiday grief – two words that, when placed together, have the power to bring tears, fear, anger, pain, sadness, love, and a host of other responses. Knowing the power and effect of those two words, if you’re grieving, how do you deal with holiday grief? (more…)
Archive for the ‘Stunned by Grief’ Category
This one should be pretty easy to figure out. The ‘O’ word that hits grievers is a common reaction to grief. (more…)
What is the ‘I’ word you never expected with grief? Is it ‘indecision?’ No, that’s not surprising. So many things changed along with your loss – so indecision on your part is not unexpected. How about being ‘incapacitated?’ Well, you certainly may feel weakened or powerless in the face of your loss, but that’s not unexpected either. (more…)
What’s the ‘A’ word no one wants to face in grief? And what’s the ‘A’ word those of us who have been through grief have had to wrestle with, time and again? Who anticipated so many unexpected surprises, upsets, and fears associated with this word?
How many of us have wondered, “Is there a shortcut through grief?” – and desperately wished that somehow, some way, we’d discover that quicker way. (more…)
You just received some stunning news, and your world has been turned inside out and upside down. What will you do, and how can you turn things around after a tragedy or a deep heartache and keep going? Your first thought is, “I don’t know how I’m ever going to get through this.” Even though your world has stopped, everyone else’s world keeps going on as usual. How will you get through this tragedy? What will your life look like afterward?
When I read an especially meaningful quote recently, I could not help but think about the holiday season and the struggle it ushers in for anyone who is grieving. Yet, it’s not just about the ‘holiday’ season, but the meaningful times we experience throughout the year. All of these times are especially tough for anyone who is grieving. William Shakespeare penned the insightful phrase, “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.” Grievers are often so self-conscious about the possibility of their feelings spilling out unwillingly or unexpectedly that their dread of special days intensifies even more.
Tough times require extraordinary measures. Sometimes you’re not at your strongest – because something has knocked the wind out of you. An event, circumstance, or condition leaves you reeling, and you try desperately to regain your balance and steady yourself again. During tough times (such as grief), a particular three-legged stool is crucial. The building blocks that form the foundation of this stool are vital to your ability to cope with tough times. (more…)
For once, let’s forget about dancing around the bush – or being politically correct. Let’s agree not to sweep the truth under the rug and stay silent. If you’ve faced a major loss, you know the truth. Grief is hard.
Even grief professionals are sometimes surprised and overwhelmed when they face a profound personal loss. (more…)
I don’t know why this is true – but when you reduce the clutter in your physical surroundings, something takes place inside of you, too. When you clean out and discard things you don’t need, and organize what you decide to keep, it seems as though it’s easier to think, to move forward, and to do the things you need to do. Reduce the clutter and focus on the basics, and you will see benefits – in life and in grief.
Grief is a formidable force—and when it hits you directly, it holds the power to take you to your knees. What can you do? How do you stand back up when grief knocks you down?
I recently wrote a blog post titled “Do You Feel as Though Grief Is the End of Your Story?” – And I shared that, for a time, I wondered whether grief marked the end of mine. However, my story did not stop there. Thank God, grief was not the end. There’s a lot more to the story …
My life changed radically in 1998. It’s hard to believe that seventeen years have passed since then. However, flashes from those days will stay with me as long as I live. Do you feel as though grief is the end of your story? For a time, I thought grief marked the end of mine.
Caution! Does toxic thinking seem to tag along with you? If so, what difference does it make?
Even if you are besieged by toxic thinking, it’s only ‘thoughts’ – right? What harm can there be in examining something in your mind, even if you are off track? (more…)