Archive for the ‘Stunned by Grief’ Category

Caution! Control Toxic Thinking and Create Positive Changes

Friday, April 24th, 2015

Yellow caution light_control toxic thinking_griefBy Judy Brizendine

Caution! Does toxic thinking seem to tag along with you? If so, what difference does it make?

Even if you are besieged by toxic thinking, it’s only ‘thoughts’ – right? What harm can there be in examining something in your mind, even if you are off track? (more…)

Silence from Friends Is Painful

Monday, April 13th, 2015

Bird walking alone on beach_grief_invisibleBy Judy Brizendine

I recently received a note from a reader asking me a question and suggesting a topic to write about. And then she went on to tell me her story. She has been facing a deep loss in her life over the past year or more. Silence from friends is painful. Being ignored (and considered invisible) is devastating. (more…)

Quiet and Solitude—Friends or Enemies during Grief?

Thursday, April 2nd, 2015

Lonely beach_Gray Skies_Isolation_QuietBy Judy Brizendine

Are quiet and solitude friends or enemies during grief?  Sometimes we don’t recognize the things that help versus those that hurt us. And at times, things that are the most natural (and seem best) work against our healing. As in most circumstances, too much of a good thing can be bad. (more…)

Things I Wish I’d Known about Grief

Monday, March 23rd, 2015

By Judy BrizendineTunnel opening looking onto blue sky and beach

Apart from the sheer and utter pain of grief, I believe the rest of it is not what we expect. To be completely honest, until grief came crashing down on me, I’m not sure I had ever even given a thought to it – certainly not a serious thought. And I imagine most people fall into the same category as me. That was nearly seventeen years ago. Looking back, there were so many things I wish I’d known about grief. Here are a few for you to consider … (more…)

Are Christians Supposed to Grieve?

Wednesday, March 11th, 2015

Stone cross, weathered wood, framed by an archBy Judy Brizendine

People have asked me this question enough times that I thought it deserved some attention: “Are Christians supposed to grieve?” Confusion even leads some Christians to feel guilty when they do grieve and to question the strength of their faith.

Let’s set the record straight up front. (more…)

Why Is Chris Kyle’s Story So Important?

Wednesday, March 4th, 2015

American flag, cat, old barrel, blue skyBy Judy Brizendine

You know how it is when something makes such an impression on you, or affects you deeply, and you just can’t get it out of your mind. My husband and I went to see American Sniper a couple of weeks ago and I can’t stop thinking about what I saw. Even more, I can’t forget what I felt as I watched Chris Kyle’s story unfold on the screen. (more…)

Simplify — Holiday Tips to Help Grievers

Friday, December 12th, 2014

thXQSE07I7Holidays conjure up a myriad of memories and emotions for each of us, but when you’re going through a painful time of grief and loss, the holidays can be especially challenging.  In a guest blog I wrote for Fairhaven Memorial, I share a few simple, practical tips to help you find peace and experience moments of joy in the midst of your sadness.

The entire article can be found through the link below.  I hope you’ll take a few moments to read and consider these suggestions to ease your stress and help you to experience the best from the holidays this year.  Feel free to share the post with anyone who may benefit.

Here’s the link to the article:  Simplify

© 2014 Judy Brizendine

Photo Credit:  Photo courtesy of office.microsoft.com

 

Our 15-Year-Old Cat Taught Me Something about Grief

Saturday, October 25th, 2014

cats sleeping together_grief_lessonsBy Judy Brizendine

Max and Molly were inseparable. They spent their entire lives together – until Molly became sick with an incurable form of cancer. Soon afterward we had to put her to sleep. Then Max was alone, without his sister, for the first time.  And surprisingly, Max our cat taught me something about grief.

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Pause and Think Twice Before You Speak to Someone Who Is Grieving

Friday, August 15th, 2014

Red Stop Sign_Pause Before Speak to GrieversBy Judy Brizendine

After reading and hearing countless comments about the death of Robin Williams, once again it’s clear that a great lack of understanding surrounds grief, loss, and related issues. Even though the intent of most people is to provide comfort and support, they can inadvertently say something that’s hurtful or damaging.

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Have You Been Turned Away from a Grief-Support Group?

Saturday, May 31st, 2014

empty beach_tracks in sand_large rock_oceanBy Judy Brizendine

Someone shared her experience with me this week, and it broke my heart, shocked, and angered me all at the same time.  This person ‘diligently searched’ (her words) for help with grief, and was turned away from grief-support groups by several organizations.

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3 Things in Life Are Certain — How Do You Respond to #3?

Wednesday, April 16th, 2014

orange and black Road Work Ahead sign_change_griefBy Judy Brizendine

We’re all familiar with the saying about two things no one can escape: death and taxes! But what about the third certainty in life? Any ideas? (more…)

Outstanding List of Online Resources for Coping with Grief

Friday, March 14th, 2014

metal container filled with bright yellow sunflowers_grief_copingI’m always watching for outstanding resources to recommend, and the article discussed in this post is filled with 115 helpful websites on grief and bereavement. I believe this list represents a collection of some of the very best online resources available for coping with grief and bereavement.

In this article on the MastersInCounseling.org website, you will find a wide range of resources directed toward grief brought about by a variety of life events, including but not limited to death. You’ll find information to help you understand, guidance to help you cope, and a supportive community so you know you are not alone.

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New Year, New Beginning — and We’re All in this Together!

Wednesday, February 5th, 2014

By Judy Brizendine

Leaves with gold, green and red highlights and light shining through_ hope_new beginningSomething about the idea of a new year, new beginning captures my mind and sends me down a road of reflection.  What will this year bring?  Where will we be this time next year?  What will have changed?  What would we like to change?  What do we plan to change?

Last year I purchased two little white erase boards. They’re small – about 5“ x 8” – but I love making my ‘to-do’ list on these boards, crossing out what I’ve completed, and finally erasing those items and starting again. I know this sounds really silly, but I take great pleasure in using these little zebra-edged boards to plan my activities and then wiping the boards clean and starting over. The action clears my mind! That’s how I think of a new year, new beginning. A fresh, blank slate. A new opportunity. (more…)

Tips to Reduce Holiday Stress When You’re Grieving

Friday, December 20th, 2013

evergreen trees covered in snow, stars, magical winter sceneI was invited to write a guest post for Fairhaven Memorial’s Grief Blog.  The title of the article is “Reduce Stress by Focusing on Realistic Expectations.”  The holiday season is stressful for most of us, yet when you’re grieving, even more anxiety comes to the surface.

I hope you’ll click on the link below and read the entire article.  Perhaps you also know someone else who would benefit by seeing the article — and you’ll consider sharing it with them.

Wishing you a peaceful and blessed holiday.

Here’s the link to the article:  Reduce Stress by Focusing on Realistic Expectations

Photo courtesy of bing.com

Grief and the Holidays

Friday, December 13th, 2013

glowing candles amid greeneryGrief and the holidays are especially difficult — and there’s just no getting around it.  Even when your loss was sometime ago, the holidays bring memories back to life.  With time and healing, perhaps you can look back on those memories with smiles and gratitude rather than the crushing pain you felt earlier – yet emotions seem to be supercharged at this time of the year.

I read a beautiful article written by Katherine Ingram about her experience of grief and the holidays.  The thoughts she shares are similar to my own.  I could identify with her heartfelt (and wise) words, and I hope they will speak to you, too.  I asked her permission to share the article – and she graciously agreed.

Hope you’ll click on the link to read Katherine’s article.  I think you’ll be blessed if you do.

Here’s the link – Good Grief: The Holiday Edition

 

Photo courtesy of www.bing.com