Grief is tough – there’s no doubt about it. But don’t ever think you are powerless over your journey or your life. At the end of the day, what are you focusing on? Ask yourself the question. It’s important. Your answer may well determine not only if you will still be standing, but whether you’ll survive or thrive.
Archive for the ‘Decisions and choices’ Category
Stop for a minute and think about your approach to grief. Do you face it like a cheetah, a turtle, or an ant?
At first glance, a number of characteristics could be used to describe the way ‘grief’ operates, and none of them produces an effect consistent with the words ‘refuge’ or ‘sanctuary.’ The very nature of this process that leads us toward healing when we choose to enter into it is the reason everybody needs a sanctuary during grief.
Grief crashes upon you like a wave. It bounces you around and twists you inside out. Grief sends your emotions into a tailspin, and up and down like a roller coaster, until you’re emotionally spent. Grief is unruly, messy, and disorderly. You’ll go forward and then backward. At times, you’ll question your sanity.
I recently discovered a quote in a treasured book by Sarah Young, and I love how she describes hope. Sarah says, “Hope is a golden cord connecting you to heaven. This cord helps you hold your head up high, even when multiple trials are buffeting you.”
I have my own picture of hope. I like to think of hope as part our DNA. I see it as a key element of our internal make-up, just like the cells of our bodies, yet it’s deeper than that. I envision hope as a real but invisible link, devised and engineered by God, that ties us to Him—an unmistakable connection that nudges us to go on when we’re down; that whispers to us when we stray; that tugs (and tugs) at our hearts when we need to listen; that throws up road signs for us to see when we’re lost; and that points out everyday miracles to us when we need encouragement.
People have searched to learn about the effects of grief, so I wanted to shed a little light on the subject.
When grief noticeably touches your life and everything inside and around you, and you finally grow tired of things the way they are, then you’ll likely decide to figure out what’s going on and take action. Do you understand what is happening? And do you know what you have to do to get beyond this point?
Grief holds the power to literally stop you in your tracks. It spills over into every part of your life, and you cannot keep it self-contained or compartmentalized, regardless of how hard you try. Grief’s effects impact:
The longer I live, the more I understand that attitude is the single most important driving force in any of our lives. Whether the question relates to your professional life, your personal life, your relationships, your spiritual journey, or anything else you can think of—your attitude influences (and drives) your success or failure, your happiness or dissatisfaction, and the ease or struggle of your journey.
Let’s be honest. Grief is hard. It may be one of the most difficult things you’ve faced in life. And struggle can surely get you down, if you allow it.
If you’re mourning the loss of your mom, or if your mom is fighting a devastating illness, or if personal heartbreak clouds your celebration of this special day, can you still experience joy wherever you are? I have a few suggestions for you to consider. I know this subject can be very difficult, and my intention is to open your mind to a few things you may not have considered. I’m also going to share a personal confession with you, so please keep reading.
Last week brought terror and heartache to people across our country, but our collective pain and grief are only a shadow of the pain and grief felt by victims whose lives were directly touched by the tragedies in Boston, MA and West, TX. My heart aches for each of these people and their families … for the way their lives have been forever changed and for the unbelievable pain they face over the next weeks, months, and years as they work through their grief and learn to accept (and adjust to) the changes inflicted on their lives because of their losses. When tragedy and grief devastate you, what do you do?
I would venture to say that nearly everyone going through grief has questioned (at one time or other) whether they would ever reach a happy life again. I’m here to say that healing is available for everyone who really wants it.
I will say, without a doubt, that grief is one of the most difficult experiences any of us will face in life. The idea of taking a break from grief does not in any way minimize or make light of its intense pain, effects, or significance. I recognize the deep and complex impact of grief that follows loss. In fact, its fierce and powerful characteristics are exactly why we need to take a break from grief.
The faces of grief are an ever-changing landscape unique to each person’s experience. Depending on where you are in the process, the face of your grief and the words you use to describe it will vary all over the map.
You’re probably thinking, “I don’t even know what a ‘grief’ umbrella is”—and you’re asking me, “What color is your ‘grief’ umbrella?” Let’s work through this idea together …
Grief is a mystery and a shock when you first meet up with it. Nothing you’ve ever seen, read, or thought about grief prepares you for its reality. Just like death—when death steals someone you love away—a staggering realization hits your senses that your life has changed and it will never be the same again. That’s the way grief is, too. And when grief shows up, trust me, you’ll need ‘grief’ umbrellas.
As 2012 ends and the anticipation of a new year (along with the prospect for new beginnings) arrives, I can’t help but think about life through the eyes of a little child. Children have the right idea—and we can take away valuable lessons for living by looking at life through their eyes.
I sensed life through a new lens this Christmas. As adults, I think we often tend to become jaded over the years—a bit cynical; less than enthusiastic about things that excited us before; and sometimes we end up just going through the motions of holidays, celebrations, and even our everyday lives.