Archive for the ‘Emotions’ Category
Monday, April 22nd, 2013
No one expects a tragedy. Yet, tragedies strike, seemingly out of nowhere, and they’re devastating.
Last week brought terror and heartache to people across our country, but our collective pain and grief are only a shadow of the pain and grief felt by victims whose lives were directly touched by the tragedies in Boston, MA and West, TX. My heart aches for each of these people and their families … for the way their lives have been forever changed and for the unbelievable pain they face over the next weeks, months, and years as they work through their grief and learn to accept (and adjust to) the changes inflicted on their lives because of their losses. When tragedy and grief devastate you, what do you do?
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Tags: attitude, Boston MA, coping with grief, decisions about coping with loss, hope, response to tragedy, tragedy, West TX
Posted in Attitude, Coping with Grief, Decisions and choices, Effects of Grief, Emotions, Response to tragedy, Stunned by Grief | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013
You’re probably thinking, “I don’t even know what a ‘grief’ umbrella is”—and you’re asking me, “What color is your ‘grief’ umbrella?” Let’s work through this idea together …
Grief is a mystery and a shock when you first meet up with it. Nothing you’ve ever seen, read, or thought about grief prepares you for its reality. Just like death—when death steals someone you love away—a staggering realization hits your senses that your life has changed and it will never be the same again. That’s the way grief is, too. And when grief shows up, trust me, you’ll need ‘grief’ umbrellas.
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Tags: changes, coping with grief, effects of grief, encouragement, grief support, hope, needs of grievers
Posted in Changes, Coping with Grief, Decisions and choices, Effects of Grief, Emotions, Hope, Needs of grievers | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013
As 2012 ends and the anticipation of a new year (along with the prospect for new beginnings) arrives, I can’t help but think about life through the eyes of a little child. Children have the right idea—and we can take away valuable lessons for living by looking at life through their eyes.
I sensed life through a new lens this Christmas. As adults, I think we often tend to become jaded over the years—a bit cynical; less than enthusiastic about things that excited us before; and sometimes we end up just going through the motions of holidays, celebrations, and even our everyday lives.
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Tags: attitude, emotions, hope, life lessons from children
Posted in Attitude, Decisions and choices, Emotions, Hope, Stunned by Grief | 2 Comments »
Friday, December 21st, 2012
As I lay in bed last night, trying to go to sleep, a line from John Donne’s famous poem kept racing across my mind: “No man is an island.” His words of so long ago are surely as true today as when he wrote them.
I kept thinking about the tragedy last week in Newtown, CT, especially since just a few of days ago marked the first day of funerals for those who were gunned down. I couldn’t get those families out of my mind … nor the words of the poem.
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Tags: emotional connection, grief and loss, Newtown, response to loss, response to tragedy
Posted in Emotions, Hope, Response to tragedy, Stunned by Grief | 4 Comments »
Thursday, December 13th, 2012
Is hopefulness worth sticking up for?
This time of year should be joyful, hopeful, exciting, and filled with anticipation. But when you’re grieving, the holidays often produce feelings of dread instead of happy expectation. If you’re grieving, what are you supposed to do? Are you doomed to an anxiety-ridden season?
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Tags: grief during the holidays, handling grief during the holidays, laughter and grief, relief from grief, staying hopeful during grief, stunned by grief
Posted in Animals, Benefits of laughter, Coping with Grief, Emotions, Holidays, anniversaries, special occasions, Hope, Stunned by Grief | Comments Off
Wednesday, December 12th, 2012
Judy Brizendine was interviewed today by Anna Banks for a special show about dealing with grief during the holidays – on the program “Living Fully After 40™ Radio.
Anna also wrote an article for her Living Fully After 40™ Blog today (December 12) about Judy, her STUNNED by Grief books, and the challenges of grief and the holidays.
This time of year, which we normally greet with excitement and anticipation, is extremely difficult for anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one or other types of deep losses. Instead of joy, someone who is grieving most likely is experiencing feelings of dread, anxiety, a lack of energy, loneliness, and an overall sense of being overwhelmed. However, there are things you can do to make your holiday season more manageable—and to carve out moments of joy in the midst of your grief. You’ll find suggestions to help you cope with grief during the holidays in Judy’s guest blog article, ‘5 Ideas to Ease Holiday Anxiety During Grief,’ written for the Journeys Through Grief Newsletter.
Check out Anna’s blog to read the article about Judy (as well as a host of other articles dealing with issues we all face) whether or not we are past the age of 40!
(Photo courtesy of office.microsoft.com)
Tags: coping with grief, emotions, grief and holidays, grief challenges, holidays
Posted in Coping with Grief, Decisions and choices, Emotions, Holidays, anniversaries, special occasions, Needs of grievers, Stunned by Grief | Comments Off
Monday, October 22nd, 2012
Anything that gets in the way of healing from grief is a concern, but certain issues are especially critical, complex, explosive, or unpredictable. I describe these subjects as ‘flashpoint’ issues because they hold the power to block your path to healing, to derail your progress.
Everyone’s grief is uniquely his or her own. Each experience is different, just as each person, personality, past, circumstance, and everything about an individual is unique.
Sometimes, certain issue(s) override everything else as you face your loss—and these issues can become the rocks that block your progression toward healing. Different circumstances will force particular issues to the forefront, issues that are somehow attached to, or emerge from your loss. Some examples are isolation; fear; anger; guilt; ‘Why?’ questions; victor/ victim; and “Do I really want to get well?”
In facing my own loss, flashpoint issues took me by surprise, either because they were so contrary to my own personality—or because I was shocked that they showed up as part of my grief.
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Tags: flashpoint issues, grief journey, healing from grief, isolation, issues that block healing, turning point in healing, victim or victor
Posted in Attitude, Changes, Coping with Grief, Decisions and choices, Effects of Grief, Emotions, Relationships, Stunned by Grief | 2 Comments »
Monday, October 8th, 2012
We automatically connect grief to certain circumstances. When someone we deeply love dies, we expect to grieve. However, we may only vaguely link certain situations and experiences to grief, if we associate the two at all. So the questions, ‘Is Grief a Factor?’ and ‘Am I Grieving?’ are important ones to consider.
I recently watched a drug intervention program on television. A young woman seriously addicted to heroin talked about two things in her life that had caused her tremendous pain: her father abandoned the family when she was very young, and her mother was not regularly present to take care of her and her sister. Later on, she also lost a relationship with the only true love of her life. Her main goal now is to escape from her ever-present pain by doing whatever she has to do to obtain the money to stay high on drugs. She said she doesn’t want to feel anything. Do you think the root of her problem could be grief that she never faced?
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Tags: choosing to grieve, coping with grief, health and happiness, identifying grief, losses related to grief, unresolved grief
Posted in Coping with Grief, Decisions and choices, Effects of Grief, Emotions, Stunned by Grief | 4 Comments »
Friday, September 21st, 2012
You may be wondering what I’m really saying. Choose to grieve?
You’ve just been overwhelmed by a major loss. You feel powerless. You’re in agonizing pain. You don’t know what to do or think. And I’m urging you to choose to grieve. What do I mean?
At first, your pain will spread to nearly everything you see, think, and feel. Your thinking will likely be impaired and unfocused, and your concentration reduced. You won’t be in a position to consider and make logical decisions right away. However, don’t be overly concerned. This fuzzy state of mind will improve.
Your initial state of shock and disbelief is your body’s way of protecting you. Your loss is too difficult to absorb all at once, so your body and mind seem to enter into an ‘autopilot’ state. You’re able to function in a basic way, but at the same time, your body protects you from grasping all that is happening within and around you. Reality will hit soon enough.
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Tags: choices, coping with grief, grief help, healing, stunned by grief, taking action
Posted in Coping with Grief, Decisions and choices, Emotions, Response to tragedy, Stunned by Grief | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, August 14th, 2012
At any given time, loss is part of our normal, everyday experience, right along with the rest of life—including our greatest joys. When we confront losses, especially serious ones, we often have to remind ourselves that we still have goodness in our lives, too. We sometimes have to force ourselves to remember that the two tracks are always running alongside each other—and our lives are filled with joy and pain, good and bad, ups and downs—at the same time. At certain times, one track carries more weight and is more visible, and during those times the pain tends to overshadow the joy. However, even when pain is the dominant emotion we feel, that doesn’t mean everything in our lives is bad.
I am no different from anyone else. When one area of my life or one thing is really distressing, I’m just as liable as anyone else to let negativity creep into my thinking. We start to question what in our lives is positive, or when we can expect something good to happen again. This kind of thinking is a trap to avoid. We will defeat ourselves by thinking this way.
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Tags: choices, coping with grief, emotions of grief, grief help, response to grief, stunned by grief
Posted in Attitude, Coping with Grief, Decisions and choices, Emotions, Stunned by Grief | 4 Comments »
Thursday, June 28th, 2012
When circumstances and incidents take place that are outside of your control, do you sometimes feel as though you’re a pawn? Do you feel helpless? The truth is that loss is often beyond your control—and grief and loss bring choices—however, you are not powerless.
When grief entered my life, I was so naïve. I had no idea what to expect, and I surely didn’t realize I had choices (or responsibilities) for anything related to the grief that confused and overwhelmed me. However, as time went on, I came to understand that I did have choices to make—and these decisions carried the potential to drive me in completely opposite directions that would affect my future and my outlook on life.
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Tags: acceptance, coping with grief, decisions, emotions, grief process
Posted in Changes, Coping with Grief, Decisions and choices, Emotions, Response to tragedy, Stunned by Grief | Comments Off
Friday, June 8th, 2012
I’m very excited to be guest blogging today for Fairhaven Memorial Park.
I hope you’ll check out the article—and share it with your friends and anyone you know who would be interested.
Just click on the link: Fairhaven Memorial Park
Tags: attitude, coping with grief, effects of grief, hope after loss, stunned by grief
Posted in Attitude, Changes, Coping with Grief, Effects of Grief, Emotions, Hope, Stunned by Grief | Comments Off
Sunday, May 27th, 2012
Memorial Day is the time we’ve set aside to honor our fallen heroes who gave their lives for our freedom. No greater gift exists—and no greater sacrifice is possible—than to give your life for something you believe in.
While our military and their families deserve our thanks every day, May has been named National Military Appreciation Month. It’s easy to overlook the daily sacrifices service members and their families make for us, but their sacrifices are real and significant. Check out some ways you can show them your thanks on the Military Appreciation Month facebook page.
Some say that those in the military signed up for their lifestyle. They signed up to serve their country and give their lives if necessary to protect our freedom. But even though they’ve committed to serve, hardships accompany that service. Families are often separated. Children may be born while a father is away. Finances can be challenging when families live in separate locations. Moves can be frequent and unexpected. Communication may be sporadic. Deployments can come up unexpectedly. Pre-deployment training and preparation are stressful. And loneliness is sometimes overwhelming. Add fear to the equation when the service member is deployed to a war-torn area. In addition, a military career includes a certain amount of peril on a daily basis.
I was a military wife for twenty-one years. Those serving in the military are among the most dedicated, patriotic people I’ve ever known.
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Tags: appreciation, coping with grief, fallen heroes, grief, honor, Memorial Day, military
Posted in Coping with Grief, Decisions and choices, Emotions, Holidays, anniversaries, special occasions, Stunned by Grief | 4 Comments »
Sunday, May 13th, 2012
Thanks, Mom, for so much more than I can ever come close to properly expressing.
I’m so blessed that my mom is still here, but I know this Mother’s Day brings different thoughts and feelings for those whose moms have died. If your mom is no longer here, I hope you’ll take this time to focus on precious memories of her and joyful times you shared, even though you miss her terribly. Remember the blessing of who your mom was (and is)—that you can hold close forever! If she’s still here, then let her know just how precious she is to you.
Perhaps some of you didn’t have the kind of relationship with your mom that you longed for.
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Tags: challenges, gratitude, grieving, holidays, losses, mom, Mother's Day, relationships
Posted in Decisions and choices, Emotions, Holidays, anniversaries, special occasions, Relationships, Stunned by Grief | 2 Comments »
