When grieving, particularly during the holidays, our first reaction is to think about what we’ve lost. Holidays are special (and emotional) times of the year, and of course, our thoughts focus on the people we love. If we’ve recently lost a loved one, or experienced another type of significant loss, the holidays bring pain rather than joy, and anxiety rather than anticipation.
What I’m going to suggest will take conscious effort on your part, but when you change your thoughts — your attitude (and emotions) will follow. This season, when you find yourself dwelling on all that you’ve lost, immediately refocus and think about at least one blessing you still have in your life. And then, another one …
Pretty soon, your thoughts will be headed in an entirely different direction because your mind cannot concentrate on both the positive and negative at the same time.
Please understand that this does not mean forgetting about your loved one. However, when you focus on something positive, your attitude changes. When your attitude changes, your feelings follow.
You are not a powerless person being led down an unchangeable path during grief. You are in control of your grief journey. Sometimes you have to step out and do something that feels unnatural, but that really is for your good.
Take control of the holidays during grief — and don’t let the holidays control you …
© 2011 Judy Brizendine