Especially When Grieving — Focus on What’s Still Good in Your Life!

Woman's hands folded on an open BibleWhen grieving, particularly during the holidays, our first reaction is to think about what we’ve lost. Holidays are special (and emotional) times of the year, and of course, our thoughts focus on the people we love. If we’ve recently lost a loved one, or experienced another type of significant loss, the holidays bring pain rather than joy, and anxiety rather than anticipation.

What I’m going to suggest will take conscious effort on your part, but when you change your thoughts — your attitude (and emotions) will follow. This season, when you find yourself dwelling on all that you’ve lost, immediately refocus and think about at least one blessing you still have in your life. And then, another one …

Pretty soon, your thoughts will be headed in an entirely different direction because your mind cannot concentrate on both the positive and negative at the same time.

Please understand that this does not mean forgetting about your loved one. However, when you focus on something positive, your attitude changes. When your attitude changes, your feelings follow.

You are not a powerless person being led down an unchangeable path during grief. You are in control of your grief journey. Sometimes you have to step out and do something that feels unnatural, but that really is for your good.

Take control of the holidays during grief — and don’t let the holidays control you …

© 2011 Judy Brizendine

About Judy

“Out of your deepest pain comes your greatest gift.” Judy writes about grief and loss in a realistic, practical way – to help, inspire, encourage, and educate any who face loss in their lives. A fellow-traveler’s approach to grief …

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4 Responses to “Especially When Grieving — Focus on What’s Still Good in Your Life!”

  1. Gail Duncan says:

    Wow! Great advice! Hope you had a Great Turkey Day!…and “special moments” of Thanksgiving!

    • admin says:

      Thanks for stopping by to check out our blog and leave a comment! So glad the message was meaningful to you. God bless you!

      • Sazan says:

        How true that there are many friendships lost when it’s not bcause they don’t care, but maybe bcause they are afraid. I think that we need to teach our children how to be okay with their own feelings to allow them to help others. They will then grow up with a skill set that I think some people are lacking (which may be no fault of their own). Thanks for the positive thoughts, they mean a lot to me.

        • admin says:

          Thank you, Sazan, for stopping by to read and share your thoughts. I agree with you, sometimes friendships are lost because people are afraid and uncomfortable about how to deal with the grief. If you haven’t been through it, you simply do not have the capacity to understand. Yes, children need to be taught that it’s okay to ‘feel’ their feelings and express them. How can we be truly human and compassionate in our actions unless we allow ourselves to feel? Thank you very much for your insight and comments.
          Warmly,
          Judy