People have searched to learn about the effects of grief, so I wanted to shed a little light on the subject.
When grief noticeably touches your life and everything inside and around you, and you finally grow tired of things the way they are, then you’ll likely decide to figure out what’s going on and take action. Do you understand what is happening? And do you know what you have to do to get beyond this point?
Grief holds the power to literally stop you in your tracks. It spills over into every part of your life, and you cannot keep it self-contained or compartmentalized, regardless of how hard you try. Grief’s effects impact:
• Your body, mind, and spirit
• Your present and future
• Your well-being
Because grief’s effects reach so deeply into all areas of your life, knowing what to do and taking positive action are crucial.
Dangers of Unresolved Grief:
Grief will not just resolve itself and fade away over time. Grief engulfs and consumes you at first. People sometimes have the idea that grief settles down on them, and if they just wait, eventually it will go away and their life will return to normal. However, it’s important to understand that, as much as you may wish things worked differently, grief that is not recognized and worked through does not eventually disappear.
Unresolved grief continues to negatively influence and control your life until it is handled in a healthy way. These negative effects also spill out onto others in your circle of relationships.
Your Part in Your Grief Journey – What You Can Do:
You control your own grief journey; you determine whether or not to pursue healing (in time, when you’re able to make this decision); and you are responsible for your own grief. Sometimes people mistakenly think they are powerless in relation to their grief. Untrue! You may be a victim of a loss, but you do not have to be a victim. This distinction is important.
You can resolve your grief and build a satisfying life again. Here are a few of the actions to take:
- You have to allow yourself to feel the pain, and work through it, to heal the pain. Don’t stop reading here! I know allowing yourself to feel the pain is not a popular idea or an easy one to accept. Most of us try to avoid pain at all costs, but in this case, you must face the pain and walk through it to reach a place of acceptance and healing.
- Focus on your blessings and what you still have instead of fixating on what you’ve lost. When you’re in gut-wrenching pain, it is surely more difficult to think of your blessings and what you still have, but it is possible, and your attitude will be better (and stronger) when you do this.
- Let go of resentment, anger, blame, guilt, and bitterness.
- Eventually accept and release (but not forget) your loss, and gradually adjust to the changes your loss brought into your life.
You cannot escape loss. The quality of your life and your health depend on learning how to handle your grief—and choosing to take the necessary steps that lead to healing, whatever they include, for you.
Your life is worth the effort.
© 2013 Judy Brizendine
Photo © fotofrenze