How many of us have wondered, “Is there a shortcut through grief?” – and desperately wished that somehow, some way, we’d discover that quicker way.
I wish I could share with you a new tried-and-true discovery that would enable you to speed up your journey through grief. However, the only ‘shortcut’ I know of is to face your grief and not try to avoid or run from it. I realize it’s not the kind of shortcut you were hoping for. But please listen.
One reason there’s no quick fix for grief is because loss involves the heart – and issues of the heart are especially painful. They are not easy to work through. And they touch us at our deepest, most vulnerable places. They stir up a wide range of emotions, and some of those are negative ones we have to deal with.
Integrating Effects of Loss into Our Lives
Loss changes our lives, often in ways we never imagined. Integrating the effects of loss into our everyday lives often requires difficult and painful adjustments – and these are changes we never wanted to make. Of course, that process takes time.
Avoiding or running away from grief only prolongs the pain and makes your overall journey longer. Unfortunately, you cannot escape from grief. Unresolved grief follows you and affects everything in your life.
Loss is hard because you care deeply. If you didn’t care, grief would not exist.
Learning to live with loss is a challenge. No question about it, loss changes you. And as you face your grief, to avoid becoming stuck, you must slowly begin to adapt and adjust – enabling you to live again (alongside the grief) that has invaded all parts of your life. You have changed, and your life has surely changed. Grief weaves its way into the fabric of your life, the person you’ve become, the way you respond to the world.
Shortcut through Grief
Your first response toward grief is likely negative. That’s understandable. But many will also tell you, from experience, that there are positive, unexpected outcomes from grief, too.
Let me encourage you to forget about wasting your time looking for a shortcut through grief. It doesn’t exist. Put that effort toward beginning your grief journey – and starting down the road, a step at a time, that will enable you to find and create your new normal.
Life does not end with grief. You can find your way to a place of peace and fulfillment again.
Don’t be discouraged. Keep the faith, stay strong, and stand firm…
“Your test will become your testimony; your mess will become your message.”
I’ve seen this quote played out over and over among people who have loved and lost. I know without a doubt it’s true. It can be true for you, too. None of us chose to be here – but something good can come from it.
While there is no shortcut through grief, you have deep within you all that is necessary to make it through. Trust that, even without a shortcut, you can make it.
© 2016 Judy Brizendine
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