Sometimes You Simply Have to Encourage Yourself During Grief

Grief_Encourage Yourself_Orange sunset over oceanEveryone needs encouragement, especially when grieving. And sometimes, you simply have to encourage yourself during grief.

The longer I live, the more I understand that attitude is the single most important driving force in any of our lives. Whether the question relates to your professional life, your personal life, your relationships, your spiritual journey, or anything else you can think of—your attitude influences (and drives) your success or failure, your happiness or dissatisfaction, and the ease or struggle of your journey.

Let’s be honest. Grief is hard. It may be one of the most difficult things you’ve faced in life. And struggle can surely get you down, if you allow it.

Sometimes I think we expect others to hold us up, to push us forward, to lift our spirits, and to encourage us. Hopefully, we have people in our lives who provide this kind of positive support and reinforcement. Yet, it’s important to realize that the person who is ultimately in charge of keeping us ‘up’ is ourselves!

We are solidly in charge of our own attitude. It’s the way we respond to our circumstances and the world and people around us. And a good attitude doesn’t just happen to us automatically—it’s something inside that we cultivate!

Don’t think for a minute that what you focus on is unimportant. If you dwell on negative thoughts and expect to generate a positive outcome, you’ll be disappointed. If you isolate yourself and excessively concentrate on your problems and your pain, you will likely drive yourself into depression. When you feed yourself a constant diet of negativity, then the outcome will not be encouraging.

I’m not suggesting that you avoid the healing work of your grief journey—but you cannot spend all of your time there. Spend some time with people you enjoy. Fortify yourself with uplifting, inspiring activities. Focus on positive thoughts. What you focus on is what you get—so be sure those things are positive!

Ultimately, you control your attitude, your grief journey, and much of your life. While we sometimes like to think that it’s up to someone else to encourage us, the responsibility is really our own. When you accept and act on that responsibility, your life will be better for it.

Always remember that you are stronger than you think! You don’t have to worry about the next months or years all at once. Try to concentrate on one day at a time, or initially, one hour or minute at a time. You just have to be strong for right now. Tomorrow and its challenges will come soon enough.

I love the quote by Mary Anne Radmacher that goes like this: Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’

Encourage yourself by vowing that you will get up and try again tomorrow …

© 2013 Judy Brizendine
Photo © fotofrenze

Related articles:
Grief Brings Change—and You Possess a Powerful Tool!
Grief and Loss Bring Choices—and You Are not Powerless!
From Widow’s Voice – The Things I’ve Done …

 

 

About Judy

“Out of your deepest pain comes your greatest gift.” Judy writes about grief and loss in a realistic, practical way – to help, inspire, encourage, and educate any who face loss in their lives. A fellow-traveler’s approach to grief …

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