I’m so blessed that my mom is still here, but I know this Mother’s Day brings different thoughts and feelings for those whose moms have died. If your mom is no longer here, I hope you’ll take this time to focus on precious memories of her and joyful times you shared, even though you miss her terribly. Remember the blessing of who your mom was (and is)—that you can hold close forever! If she’s still here, then let her know just how precious she is to you.
Perhaps some of you didn’t have the kind of relationship with your mom that you longed for.
If that’s your experience, I’m truly sorry. Sometimes situations are out of control and present challenges that seem impossible to overcome. However, whether your mom is still part of your life or she’s gone, she is your mom. She brought you into the world. I really believe most people do the best they can in their situations. I hope you’ll set aside any negative or resentful feelings and make the effort to recall a good quality about your mom or a special memory of her. By focusing on gratitude, you’re doing something positive for yourself. If she’s still here, consider going to see her or giving her a call. Do what you can, while you can, to avoid regrets later on.
Holidays and special occasions can be particularly difficult when you’re grieving. My mom and I were just talking about my dad today—and he died in 2000. We miss him, but we have beautiful memories, and we can laugh when we talk about him now. Mom was saying that he left way too soon, and she’s going to have to fuss at him when she sees him again. I told her to fuss at him for me, too! None of us were ready for him to go.
I think memories and gratitude are crucial when we have suffered losses. Focusing on the positive will always put us in a better place than doing the opposite—and we can always find something positive if we look hard enough!
To moms everywhere—God bless you! And to my mom—thanks for your love, your example of how to live, and for all of the special memories you’ve made…
© 2012 Judy Brizendine