What Kind of Grief Day Are You Having?

photo of red suede shoesYou may think this is a little odd, but I was thinking about shoes the other day—and about how a shoe could tell a story about my grief journey.

I have a pair of work boots that I used to wear on job sites to keep my nice shoes from being destroyed. We never knew what we would run into on construction sites—drywall mud, paint, dirt, construction debris—or just about anything! So I tried to keep my work boots in the trunk, just in case. The grief journey is kind of like that—you never know just what you’ll run up against or how something will affect you at a certain time.

My work boots were comfortable, sturdy, ordinary, no-nonsense shoes. And well- worn. They were made for work. Certainly at times grief felt like hard work—and I felt worn-out and a little ragged—just like my work boots.Leather work boots

At other times, something would happen to really lift my spirits and give me hope— kind of like my red suede slip-on loafers. Comforting. Positive. Someone would call just to let me know they’d been thinking about me. Or a friend would offer to help with something I couldn’t do by myself. Optimistic shoes—like a grief day touched by the reassurance that everything will be okay again.

Not every day during grief is a ‘work boot’ day. Thankfully, there are some ‘red suede loafer’ days, too!

What kind of grief day are you having?

© 2011 Judy Brizendine

About Judy

"Out of your deepest pain comes your greatest gift." Judy writes about grief and loss in a realistic, practical way - to help, inspire, encourage, and educate any who face loss in their lives. A fellow-traveler's approach to grief ...

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4 Responses to “What Kind of Grief Day Are You Having?”

  1. Zeal says:

    Way to go on this essay, helped a ton.

    • admin says:

      I’m so glad we were able to help! That’s why we’re here. Thank you for stopping by, reading the message, and responding.

  2. KATHY says:

    a very painful one

    • admin says:

      Dear Kathy,

      I’m so terribly sorry you’re having a very painful day. My heart goes out to you because I have been there, too, and no one truly understands unless they’ve also been there. Grief was the toughest thing I’ve ever been through–but I want to encourage you. Happiness will be possible again. There is a path through grief, and if you keep on working through the grieving process, you can live a satisfying life again. At times during grief, we think we’ll never be happy again. I suspect each of us has thought that way at one time or another. I did, too. However, when you catch yourself thinking those thoughts, just remember that many other people have been where you are right now, and they were able to successfully work their way through the grief. If they can do it, so can you. Hold on to this truth! Don’t let go of hope.

      Take good care of yourself. Sending prayers for your strength and comfort.

      Warmly,
      Judy