It’s not unusual for people who are grieving to start feeling anxious weeks before the holidays arrive. I was just talking with someone who reinforced this idea. Her friend (who has experienced several losses recently) has already been talking about how much she dreads the holidays and knows they are going to be terrible. If she keeps on thinking, talking, and believing this way — her holiday experience will definitely be awful! However, it doesn’t have to be.
Our minds actively work to turn our thoughts into reality. You’ve probably heard of the ‘self-fulfilling’ prophecy. Our minds want us to be right, and through a complex process between our bodies and our minds, we live out our thoughts!
I challenge you to control negative thinking. Don’t buy into it! When negative thoughts creep into your mind (and they will!), replace the negative ones with a positive thought. Decide that while your holiday season will be different this year — it’s still going to be good.
Plan something you enjoy. Your ideas don’t need to be complicated (or expensive). Just arrange to be with someone you like, and decide to do something you’ll look forward to.
Seize control of your thoughts and your attitude will follow. You have the power to harness your attitude as your friend during grief. If you start to veer off course, remind yourself to focus on the blue skies, not the gray clouds. I know you can…
© 2011 Judy Brizendine