Posts Tagged ‘choices’

Grief and the Holidays

Friday, December 13th, 2013

glowing candles amid greeneryGrief and the holidays are especially difficult — and there’s just no getting around it.  Even when your loss was sometime ago, the holidays bring memories back to life.  With time and healing, perhaps you can look back on those memories with smiles and gratitude rather than the crushing pain you felt earlier – yet emotions seem to be supercharged at this time of the year.

I read a beautiful article written by Katherine Ingram about her experience of grief and the holidays.  The thoughts she shares are similar to my own.  I could identify with her heartfelt (and wise) words, and I hope they will speak to you, too.  I asked her permission to share the article – and she graciously agreed.

Hope you’ll click on the link to read Katherine’s article.  I think you’ll be blessed if you do.

Here’s the link – Good Grief: The Holiday Edition

 

Photo courtesy of www.bing.com

Which Best Describes Your Approach to Grief — a Cheetah, a Turtle, or an Ant?

Wednesday, October 16th, 2013

closeup of cheetah, your approach to grief, do you run

Stop for a minute and think about your approach to grief. Do you face it like a cheetah, a turtle, or an ant?

(more…)

Mother’s Day — Can Joy and Grief Live Together?

Sunday, May 12th, 2013

Mother's Day_Bright Orange and Coral Flowers_Joy and GriefMother’s Day is here—and while it will be a time of laughter and celebration for some, others will struggle just to get through the day. Can joy and grief live together?

If you’re mourning the loss of your mom, or if your mom is fighting a devastating illness, or if personal heartbreak clouds your celebration of this special day, can you still experience joy wherever you are? I have a few suggestions for you to consider. I know this subject can be very difficult, and my intention is to open your mind to a few things you may not have considered. I’m also going to share a personal confession with you, so please keep reading.

(more…)

The Many Faces of Grief

Friday, February 15th, 2013

faces of grief_stormy turbulent clouds_blue sky peeking throughThe faces of grief are an ever-changing landscape unique to each person’s experience. Depending on where you are in the process, the face of your grief and the words you use to describe it will vary all over the map.

(more…)

Be Good to Yourself — and Choose to Grieve

Friday, September 21st, 2012

series of steps, open door in middle, closed door at top, passageway, light shining at topYou may be wondering what I’m really saying. Choose to grieve?

You’ve just been overwhelmed by a major loss. You feel powerless. You’re in agonizing pain. You don’t know what to do or think. And I’m urging you to choose to grieve. What do I mean?

At first, your pain will spread to nearly everything you see, think, and feel. Your thinking will likely be impaired and unfocused, and your concentration reduced. You won’t be in a position to consider and make logical decisions right away. However, don’t be overly concerned. This fuzzy state of mind will improve.

Your initial state of shock and disbelief is your body’s way of protecting you. Your loss is too difficult to absorb all at once, so your body and mind seem to enter into an ‘autopilot’ state. You’re able to function in a basic way, but at the same time, your body protects you from grasping all that is happening within and around you. Reality will hit soon enough.

(more…)

Life and Loss — Parallel Tracks in Our Lives

Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

parallel railroad tracks representing life and lossAt any given time, loss is part of our normal, everyday experience, right along with the rest of life—including our greatest joys.  When we confront losses, especially serious ones, we often have to remind ourselves that we still have goodness in our lives, too.  We sometimes have to force ourselves to remember that the two tracks are always running alongside each other—and our lives are filled with joy and pain, good and bad, ups and downs—at the same time.  At certain times, one track carries more weight and is more visible, and during those times the pain tends to overshadow the joy.  However, even when pain is the dominant emotion we feel, that doesn’t mean  everything in our lives is bad.

I am no different from anyone else.  When one area of my life or one thing is really distressing, I’m just as liable as anyone else to let negativity creep into my thinking.  We start to question what in our lives is positive, or when we can expect something good to happen again.  This kind of thinking is a trap to avoid.  We will defeat ourselves by  thinking this way.

(more…)