Posts Tagged ‘taking action’

Be Good to Yourself — and Choose to Grieve

Friday, September 21st, 2012

series of steps, open door in middle, closed door at top, passageway, light shining at topYou may be wondering what I’m really saying. Choose to grieve?

You’ve just been overwhelmed by a major loss. You feel powerless. You’re in agonizing pain. You don’t know what to do or think. And I’m urging you to choose to grieve. What do I mean?

At first, your pain will spread to nearly everything you see, think, and feel. Your thinking will likely be impaired and unfocused, and your concentration reduced. You won’t be in a position to consider and make logical decisions right away. However, don’t be overly concerned. This fuzzy state of mind will improve.

Your initial state of shock and disbelief is your body’s way of protecting you. Your loss is too difficult to absorb all at once, so your body and mind seem to enter into an ‘autopilot’ state. You’re able to function in a basic way, but at the same time, your body protects you from grasping all that is happening within and around you. Reality will hit soon enough.

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I’ll Think about Grief Tomorrow

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

cluster of blue market umbrella canopiesA friend used to teasingly call me Scarlett (as in Scarlett O’Hara from Gone With The Wind, who was known for saying, “I’ll think about that tomorrow!”)  This attitude is okay when it involves setting something unimportant or less pressing aside temporarily to concentrate on a more urgent issue at hand.  However, people tend to avoid thinking about grief altogether, as though by not thinking about it, they can somehow escape it.

I’m surely not suggesting that you dwell on grief.  But at least know where to go and what to look for when loss touches your life, and grief arrives with it.

I had never thought about grief until I was face-to-face with it, and then I had no idea what to do.

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