The ‘J’ word that devastates grievers is something you probably would not intentionally do. But you might unconsciously allow it to sneak in and influence what you think, do, or say. (more…)
Archive for the ‘Emotions’ Category
Reject the ‘J’ Word that Devastates Grievers
Friday, July 28th, 2017How Do You Deal with Holiday Grief? Follow Your Heart …
Thursday, December 15th, 2016Holiday grief – two words that, when placed together, have the power to bring tears, fear, anger, pain, sadness, love, and a host of other responses. Knowing the power and effect of those two words, if you’re grieving, how do you deal with holiday grief? (more…)
The ‘O’ Word that Hits Grievers—and What to Do about It
Monday, October 3rd, 2016This one should be pretty easy to figure out. The ‘O’ word that hits grievers is a common reaction to grief. (more…)
The ‘I’ Word You Never Expected with Grief
Thursday, August 25th, 2016What is the ‘I’ word you never expected with grief? Is it ‘indecision?’ No, that’s not surprising. So many things changed along with your loss – so indecision on your part is not unexpected. How about being ‘incapacitated?’ Well, you certainly may feel weakened or powerless in the face of your loss, but that’s not unexpected either. (more…)
Grief Is Hard
Thursday, October 22nd, 2015For once, let’s forget about dancing around the bush – or being politically correct. Let’s agree not to sweep the truth under the rug and stay silent. If you’ve faced a major loss, you know the truth. Grief is hard.
Even grief professionals are sometimes surprised and overwhelmed when they face a profound personal loss. (more…)
How Do You Stand Back Up When Grief Knocks You Down?
Friday, June 5th, 2015Grief is a formidable force—and when it hits you directly, it holds the power to take you to your knees. What can you do? How do you stand back up when grief knocks you down?
Caution! Control Toxic Thinking and Create Positive Changes
Friday, April 24th, 2015Caution! Does toxic thinking seem to tag along with you? If so, what difference does it make?
Even if you are besieged by toxic thinking, it’s only ‘thoughts’ – right? What harm can there be in examining something in your mind, even if you are off track? (more…)
Quiet and Solitude—Friends or Enemies during Grief?
Thursday, April 2nd, 2015Are quiet and solitude friends or enemies during grief? Sometimes we don’t recognize the things that help versus those that hurt us. And at times, things that are the most natural (and seem best) work against our healing. As in most circumstances, too much of a good thing can be bad. (more…)
Things I Wish I’d Known about Grief
Monday, March 23rd, 2015Apart from the sheer and utter pain of grief, I believe the rest of it is not what we expect. To be completely honest, until grief came crashing down on me, I’m not sure I had ever even given a thought to it – certainly not a serious thought. And I imagine most people fall into the same category as me. That was nearly seventeen years ago. Looking back, there were so many things I wish I’d known about grief. Here are a few for you to consider … (more…)
Are Christians Supposed to Grieve?
Wednesday, March 11th, 2015People have asked me this question enough times that I thought it deserved some attention: “Are Christians supposed to grieve?” Confusion even leads some Christians to feel guilty when they do grieve and to question the strength of their faith.
Let’s set the record straight up front. (more…)
Our 15-Year-Old Cat Taught Me Something about Grief
Saturday, October 25th, 2014Max and Molly were inseparable. They spent their entire lives together – until Molly became sick with an incurable form of cancer. Soon afterward we had to put her to sleep. Then Max was alone, without his sister, for the first time. And surprisingly, Max our cat taught me something about grief.
At the End of the Day What Are You Focusing On — and Will You Survive or Thrive?
Tuesday, November 12th, 2013Grief is tough – there’s no doubt about it. But don’t ever think you are powerless over your journey or your life. At the end of the day, what are you focusing on? Ask yourself the question. It’s important. Your answer may well determine not only if you will still be standing, but whether you’ll survive or thrive.
Everybody Needs a Sanctuary During Grief
Sunday, September 15th, 2013At first glance, a number of characteristics could be used to describe the way ‘grief’ operates, and none of them produces an effect consistent with the words ‘refuge’ or ‘sanctuary.’ The very nature of this process that leads us toward healing when we choose to enter into it is the reason everybody needs a sanctuary during grief.
Grief crashes upon you like a wave. It bounces you around and twists you inside out. Grief sends your emotions into a tailspin, and up and down like a roller coaster, until you’re emotionally spent. Grief is unruly, messy, and disorderly. You’ll go forward and then backward. At times, you’ll question your sanity.
What Hope Is — and How You Hang On to It
Friday, August 9th, 2013
I recently discovered a quote in a treasured book by Sarah Young, and I love how she describes hope. Sarah says, “Hope is a golden cord connecting you to heaven. This cord helps you hold your head up high, even when multiple trials are buffeting you.”
I have my own picture of hope. I like to think of hope as part our DNA. I see it as a key element of our internal make-up, just like the cells of our bodies, yet it’s deeper than that. I envision hope as a real but invisible link, devised and engineered by God, that ties us to Him—an unmistakable connection that nudges us to go on when we’re down; that whispers to us when we stray; that tugs (and tugs) at our hearts when we need to listen; that throws up road signs for us to see when we’re lost; and that points out everyday miracles to us when we need encouragement.