Is Grief Healing Possible for Everyone?

Heart shaped opening into rock_leafy green vegetationDo you wonder whether grief healing is even possible for you? Before you read any further—know that grief healing is available and possible for you.

I would venture to say that nearly everyone going through grief has questioned (at one time or other) whether they would ever reach a happy life again. I’m here to say that healing is available for everyone who really wants it.

Some people may disagree with me. If so, I’d like to hear from you. I believe healing from grief is available to everyone who decides to do what is necessary—to take the steps that lead to healing. Some situations of loss are certainly more challenging to cope with and work through, but I still believe healing is possible.

Healing won’t come to you. You have to decide to walk through.

Here are a few questions for you to ask:

  • Do you feel alone? Doesn’t anyone understand?
  • Do people treat you differently now?
  • Are you afraid and uncertain about the future?
  • Are you confused, distracted, unfocused?
  • Are ‘Why?’ questions holding you prisoner?
  • Are you on an emotional roller coaster? Angry for illogical reasons?

If you answered ‘yes’ to a number of these questions, and you’ve suffered a major loss, you’re probably grieving.

The hopeful news is that there’s a way through.

Take the time to learn about grief. Find out what to do.

Make the decision and act.

Healing is available—but you have to do something about it. Healing doesn’t come to you. You go there.

© 2013 Judy Brizendine

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4 Responses to “Is Grief Healing Possible for Everyone?”

  1. I completely agree and find that the pathway to healing is unique for everyone. First I tried volunteering at Head Start. All those little joyful ones should make me happy, right? They made me sadder and I wanted to escape. When I experimented with volunteering at Hospice, I found a community that knew how to be with grief and let it transform and open their hearts. I could be sad and still help in the office and later with bereavement and in a few years use my skills to lead bereavement groups.

    I wrote my story and still do. I kept old friends but also found new ones who could share my single life. I had to unearth the part of me that wanted to create a happy life, even when I longed for my old one. I let myself grieve fully, and at the same time I tried to live fully. Often difficult, but one day at a time, one year after the other, I’ve come a long way.

    Thanks for your great grief support.
    With appreciation,

    • admin says:

      Yes, Elaine, I also believe that each person’s pathway to healing is unique–and sometimes that pathway takes us in a different direction than we think! I identify with your experience. I kept some old friends but found that I had to form new friendships and completely re-develop a social life. Before long, a social life with your married friends no longer works. I was torn between wanting to create a new, happy life and longing for the life I no longer had. It sounds as though you really did things right–by allowing yourself to full grieve but also trying to fully live as best you could. That railroad track concept really is the way life is, too. At any given time, we have very good things happening alongside tragic things; happy with sad; energizing along with challenging.

      Yes, the path of grief is difficult, but we can make it and create a happy life again when we just keep putting one foot in front of the other one and keep moving, even though at times the going is slow.

      Thank you ever so much for your support of me and my writing. I truly appreciate you, and I love reading what you write. Thank you for being willing to share your thoughts and experience because we can all learn from and support one another.


  2. Hi Judy,

    Thanks for stressing that healing from grief is available but we have after it. No matter how much we are in pain, we must initiate the move toward healing.

    Each time I’ve grieved–for my husband, mother, sister, etc.–it has been different, but I let myself feel it and then began the healing process.

    I appreciate the work that you’re doing to help us through this unthinkable period of our lives.

    • admin says:

      Thank you, Flora, for stopping by to read the article and share your thoughts!

      Such misunderstanding surrounds the subject of grief. Many people don’t realize that they have to make decisions that affect their healing and their grief journey. Unfortunately, healing does not just happen automatically. Learning about grief helps people know what they can do. It’s why I keep writing and talking about it!!

      I appreciate your support and your kind words!