Is There a Shortcut through Grief?

Sun inside heart against sunset_shortcut through grief

How many of us have wondered, “Is there a shortcut through grief?” – and desperately wished that somehow, some way, we’d discover that quicker way. 

I wish I could share with you a new tried-and-true discovery that would enable you to speed up your journey through grief.  However, the only ‘shortcut’ I know of is to face your grief and not try to avoid or run from it.  I realize it’s not the kind of shortcut you were hoping for.  But please listen.

One reason there’s no quick fix for grief is because loss involves the heart – and issues of the heart are especially painful.  They are not easy to work through.  And they touch us at our deepest, most vulnerable places.   They stir up a wide range of emotions, and some of those are negative ones we have to deal with.

Integrating Effects of Loss into Our Lives

Loss changes our lives, often in ways we never imagined.  Integrating the effects of loss into our everyday lives often requires difficult and painful adjustments – and these are changes we never wanted to make.  Of course, that process takes time.

Avoiding or running away from grief only prolongs the pain and makes your overall journey longer.  Unfortunately, you cannot escape from grief.  Unresolved grief follows you and affects everything in your life.

Loss is hard because you care deeply.  If you didn’t care, grief would not exist.  

Learning to live with loss is a challenge.  No question about it, loss changes you.  And as you face your grief, to avoid becoming stuck, you must slowly begin to adapt and adjust – enabling you to live again (alongside the grief) that has invaded all parts of your life.  You have changed, and your life has surely changed.  Grief weaves its way into the fabric of your life, the person you’ve become, the way you respond to the world.

Shortcut through Grief

Your first response toward grief is likely negative.  That’s understandable.  But many will also tell you, from experience, that there are positive, unexpected outcomes from grief, too. 

Let me encourage you to forget about wasting your time looking for a shortcut through grief.  It doesn’t exist.  Put that effort toward beginning your grief journey – and starting down the road, a step at a time, that will enable you to find and create your new normal. 

Life does not end with grief.  You can find your way to a place of peace and fulfillment again. 

Don’t be discouraged.  Keep the faith, stay strong, and stand firm…

“Your test will become your testimony; your mess will become your message.”

I’ve seen this quote played out over and over among people who have loved and lost.  I know without a doubt it’s true.  It can be true for you, too.  None of us chose to be here – but something good can come from it. 

While there is no shortcut through grief, you have deep within you all that is necessary to make it through.  Trust that, even without a shortcut, you can make it.

© 2016 Judy Brizendine

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2 Responses to “Is There a Shortcut through Grief?”

  1. Larraine says:

    My partner of 20 yrs died last week.
    The pain and agony that I’m experiencing far exceeds any other bereavement I have had.

    I can truly understand the reason my friend who lost her husband, eventually took her own life.

    I have no control over my heart breaking and my head constantly looking to make sense of a life taken too soon and too young.

    Being “here” is too hard, the pain too deep, the need to hold him, feel safe again, share my everything with him too passionate.

    Wishing every day away…..

    Our marriage plans…. Ended

    Our recently bought forever home…. Will have to be sold.

    Our holiday….. Cancelled

    My life?……to be continued ?

    Time as the saying goes…..

    I know I will get through this, I am struggling…

    • admin says:

      My dear Larraine,
      My heart just breaks for you because I know the unbelievable pain of grief. I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your partner of 20 yrs.
      No one can really understand other than someone else who has been through the same thing. The depth of pain is hard to imagine unless you’ve
      been there. I understand the end of plans. The unbelievable changes. Wondering how to go about continuing with your life and what that life
      will eventually look like. Your loss is so new. Hold on. Just keep taking one small step at a time. You will get through this – but it will
      not be easy. Knowing you will get through it is a huge step. Never forget that you made that commitment. It will help you as time goes by.