By Judy Brizendine
Tough times require extraordinary measures. Sometimes you’re not at your strongest – because something has knocked the wind out of you. An event, circumstance, or condition leaves you reeling, and you try desperately to regain your balance and steady yourself again. During tough times (such as grief), a particular three-legged stool is crucial. The building blocks that form the foundation of this stool are vital to your ability to cope with tough times. (more…)
By Judy Brizendine
For once, let’s forget about dancing around the bush – or being politically correct. Let’s agree not to sweep the truth under the rug and stay silent. If you’ve faced a major loss, you know the truth. Grief is hard.
Even grief professionals are sometimes surprised and overwhelmed when they face a profound personal loss. (more…)
By Judy Brizendine
You know how it is when something makes such an impression on you, or affects you deeply, and you just can’t get it out of your mind. My husband and I went to see American Sniper a couple of weeks ago and I can’t stop thinking about what I saw. Even more, I can’t forget what I felt as I watched Chris Kyle’s story unfold on the screen. (more…)
By Judy Brizendine
Max and Molly were inseparable. They spent their entire lives together – until Molly became sick with an incurable form of cancer. Soon afterward we had to put her to sleep. Then Max was alone, without his sister, for the first time. And surprisingly, Max our cat taught me something about grief.
I was invited to write a guest post for Fairhaven Memorial’s Grief Blog. The title of the article is “Reduce Stress by Focusing on Realistic Expectations.” The holiday season is stressful for most of us, yet when you’re grieving, even more anxiety comes to the surface.
I hope you’ll click on the link below and read the entire article. Perhaps you also know someone else who would benefit by seeing the article — and you’ll consider sharing it with them.
Wishing you a peaceful and blessed holiday.
Here’s the link to the article: Reduce Stress by Focusing on Realistic Expectations
Photo courtesy of bing.com
This question has been presented to me several times lately, so I’ve been wrestling with it in my mind. I wish I had a simple, clear-cut, and perfect answer about what you can do when you see no end to your grief storm. I don’t have a quick, easy response, but I hope I can help to provide answers and suggestions to those who find themselves in this place.
Circumstances of grief arise in all of our lives for reasons that do not involve the death of a loved one. Sometimes, as devastating as death can be, I truly believe there are situations even more difficult to deal with than the death of someone who means everything. Death brings finality into play. The outcome is certain. How you’ll deal with everything death brought about is a questions mark, but there’s no question that what happened is irreversible, and you have to figure out where and how to go on from there. That was my situation.
The questions and concerns I’ve been asked about have to do with extreme grief related to circumstances that have been going on for some time and there’s no end in sight.
Grief remains a mystery to many until they’re forced to find out about it firsthand. What they will discover is that grief’s effects run deep and wide.
People have searched to learn about the effects of grief, so I wanted to shed a little light on the subject.
When grief noticeably touches your life and everything inside and around you, and you finally grow tired of things the way they are, then you’ll likely decide to figure out what’s going on and take action. Do you understand what is happening? And do you know what you have to do to get beyond this point?
Grief holds the power to literally stop you in your tracks. It spills over into every part of your life, and you cannot keep it self-contained or compartmentalized, regardless of how hard you try. Grief’s effects impact:
Everyone needs encouragement, especially when grieving. And sometimes, you simply have to encourage yourself during grief.
The longer I live, the more I understand that attitude is the single most important driving force in any of our lives. Whether the question relates to your professional life, your personal life, your relationships, your spiritual journey, or anything else you can think of—your attitude influences (and drives) your success or failure, your happiness or dissatisfaction, and the ease or struggle of your journey.
Let’s be honest. Grief is hard. It may be one of the most difficult things you’ve faced in life. And struggle can surely get you down, if you allow it.
No one expects a tragedy. Yet, tragedies strike, seemingly out of nowhere, and they’re devastating.
Last week brought terror and heartache to people across our country, but our collective pain and grief are only a shadow of the pain and grief felt by victims whose lives were directly touched by the tragedies in Boston, MA and West, TX. My heart aches for each of these people and their families … for the way their lives have been forever changed and for the unbelievable pain they face over the next weeks, months, and years as they work through their grief and learn to accept (and adjust to) the changes inflicted on their lives because of their losses. When tragedy and grief devastate you, what do you do?
Do you wonder whether grief healing is even possible for you? Before you read any further—know that grief healing is available and possible for you.
I would venture to say that nearly everyone going through grief has questioned (at one time or other) whether they would ever reach a happy life again. I’m here to say that healing is available for everyone who really wants it.
Is is possible to take a break from grief? Stick with me for a moment and let me explain. Please! I think it’s not only possible at times, but necessary, to take a break from grief.
I will say, without a doubt, that grief is one of the most difficult experiences any of us will face in life. The idea of taking a break from grief does not in any way minimize or make light of its intense pain, effects, or significance. I recognize the deep and complex impact of grief that follows loss. In fact, its fierce and powerful characteristics are exactly why we need to take a break from grief.
You’re probably thinking, “I don’t even know what a ‘grief’ umbrella is”—and you’re asking me, “What color is your ‘grief’ umbrella?” Let’s work through this idea together …
Grief is a mystery and a shock when you first meet up with it. Nothing you’ve ever seen, read, or thought about grief prepares you for its reality. Just like death—when death steals someone you love away—a staggering realization hits your senses that your life has changed and it will never be the same again. That’s the way grief is, too. And when grief shows up, trust me, you’ll need ‘grief’ umbrellas.
Judy Brizendine was interviewed today by Anna Banks for a special show about dealing with grief during the holidays – on the program “Living Fully After 40™ Radio.
Anna also wrote an article for her Living Fully After 40™ Blog today (December 12) about Judy, her STUNNED by Grief books, and the challenges of grief and the holidays.
This time of year, which we normally greet with excitement and anticipation, is extremely difficult for anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one or other types of deep losses. Instead of joy, someone who is grieving most likely is experiencing feelings of dread, anxiety, a lack of energy, loneliness, and an overall sense of being overwhelmed. However, there are things you can do to make your holiday season more manageable—and to carve out moments of joy in the midst of your grief. You’ll find suggestions to help you cope with grief during the holidays in Judy’s guest blog article, ‘5 Ideas to Ease Holiday Anxiety During Grief,’ written for the Journeys Through Grief Newsletter.
Check out Anna’s blog to read the article about Judy (as well as a host of other articles dealing with issues we all face) whether or not we are past the age of 40!
(Photo courtesy of office.microsoft.com)
I’m very honored to be guest blogging today for the Journeys Through Grief Newsletter!
I hope you’ll check out the article and share it with your friends, family, and people you know.
People everywhere are experiencing all types of loss—and the holiday season is especially difficult for anyone who is grieving. This article provides some ideas you may not have considered to ease holiday anxiety during grief. Perhaps by sharing this resource, you’ll be offering help to someone who really needs it now.
We all need hope. And we all need help at certain times.
Just click on the link here to read: Journeys Through Grief Newsletter
(Photo courtesy of office.microsoft.com)
We automatically connect grief to certain circumstances. When someone we deeply love dies, we expect to grieve. However, we may only vaguely link certain situations and experiences to grief, if we associate the two at all. So the questions, ‘Is Grief a Factor?’ and ‘Am I Grieving?’ are important ones to consider.
I recently watched a drug intervention program on television. A young woman seriously addicted to heroin talked about two things in her life that had caused her tremendous pain: her father abandoned the family when she was very young, and her mother was not regularly present to take care of her and her sister. Later on, she also lost a relationship with the only true love of her life. Her main goal now is to escape from her ever-present pain by doing whatever she has to do to obtain the money to stay high on drugs. She said she doesn’t want to feel anything. Do you think the root of her problem could be grief that she never faced?
