Posts Tagged ‘grieving’

Tips to Reduce Holiday Stress When You’re Grieving

Friday, December 20th, 2013

evergreen trees covered in snow, stars, magical winter sceneI was invited to write a guest post for Fairhaven Memorial’s Grief Blog.  The title of the article is “Reduce Stress by Focusing on Realistic Expectations.”  The holiday season is stressful for most of us, yet when you’re grieving, even more anxiety comes to the surface.

I hope you’ll click on the link below and read the entire article.  Perhaps you also know someone else who would benefit by seeing the article — and you’ll consider sharing it with them.

Wishing you a peaceful and blessed holiday.

Here’s the link to the article:  Reduce Stress by Focusing on Realistic Expectations

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Grief and the Holidays

Friday, December 13th, 2013

glowing candles amid greeneryGrief and the holidays are especially difficult — and there’s just no getting around it.  Even when your loss was sometime ago, the holidays bring memories back to life.  With time and healing, perhaps you can look back on those memories with smiles and gratitude rather than the crushing pain you felt earlier – yet emotions seem to be supercharged at this time of the year.

I read a beautiful article written by Katherine Ingram about her experience of grief and the holidays.  The thoughts she shares are similar to my own.  I could identify with her heartfelt (and wise) words, and I hope they will speak to you, too.  I asked her permission to share the article – and she graciously agreed.

Hope you’ll click on the link to read Katherine’s article.  I think you’ll be blessed if you do.

Here’s the link – Good Grief: The Holiday Edition


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Thanks, Mom! I Love You…

Sunday, May 13th, 2012

closeup of thorny green cactus heartThanks, Mom, for so much more than I can ever come close to properly expressing.

I’m so blessed that my mom is still here, but I know this Mother’s Day brings different thoughts and feelings for those whose moms have died. If your mom is no longer here, I hope you’ll take this time to focus on precious memories of her and joyful times you shared, even though you miss her terribly. Remember the blessing of who your mom was (and is)—that you can hold close forever! If she’s still here, then let her know just how precious she is to you.

Perhaps some of you didn’t have the kind of relationship with your mom that you longed for.


Sunshine After Grief

Thursday, April 5th, 2012

sunshine_bright-red-gold-white-flowers-clustered-togetherYou may not be in a place right now to believe what I’m going to say—but at least consider that sunshine after grief is possible!

Fourteen years ago, I questioned whether I would ever feel like smiling again—and whether I’d be happy in the future. But now I know it’s true—and not just for me, but for so many others who have been through the pain of grief. If you’re wondering the same thing, I want to reassure you that happiness is not only possible, but likely to happen for you, if that’s the choice you make after loss.

A wonderful friend from a past grief support group, who lost his wife several years ago, suggested that I share my story to encourage others who are disheartened and now facing loss. Regardless of where you are at this moment, know that you are not alone, and many of us have been in the same place—struggling with negative feelings, fears, and uncertainties.

My story of loss happened suddenly, without any warning. I thought everything was just fine. My husband took off on a mountain bike ride—something he frequently did—except this time, he never came home. The instant he died, my entire life changed. I had trouble envisioning any kind of future for myself back then.


Am I Grieving?

Wednesday, January 11th, 2012

empty single swing hanging from tree with sun peeking through leaves“Am I grieving?” seems like an odd question to ask, but more often than you would imagine, people do not associate grief with their situations.

When we think of grief, we immediately think of death. Of course, when we lose someone significant in our lives, we experience grief. But we also experience the effects of grief whenever we lose anything truly meaningful.

Even when someone we love dies, if we do not take the steps to positively grieve our losses, the effects of grief will show up in some way. Grief dies not go away simply because we avoid it or fail to recognize it.


Grief Is a Solitary Journey — but Don’t Walk Alone

Monday, September 12th, 2011

Three American flags waving in the breeze against a clear blue skyYesterday morning my husband and I watched a documentary about 9/11 on television. The filmmakers captured the horror, disbelief, terror, confusion, and utter devastation of that day as well as it’s possible to do on film. However, I couldn’t help but think there’s no way any of us who were viewing the program could really know what it was like to be in New York on the streets surrounding the World Trade Center ten years ago on 9/11. And we couldn’t know the experience of those who had loved ones directly involved in the tragedy — and who watched and waited to learn their fate as events unfolded.

We can listen as people tell us their personal stories about 9/11, and we can relate to the way our world has changed and the feelings we share, but we’ll never feel what those folks felt that day — or appreciate all they’ve had to cope with since then. That’s the way grief is. No one understands as does someone who has suffered a similar experience.


Grievers Don’t Need to Be ‘Fixed,’ but They Need to Be Heard

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011

Photo of peaceful fountainGrievers need someone to listen, and once is not enough. Talking about your loved one or your loss is difficult for some, but talking heals! Yes, talking hurts–but it does heal. Talking about your pain is a way of moving your feelings from the inside to the outside, so you can begin to face your feelings, release them, and start to heal.

One of the kindest, most compassionate things anyone can do is to allow (or better yet, encourage!) a grieving person to talk about his or her loss.

What have you experienced? Have you tried to talk? Has anyone listened?

© 2011 Judy Brizendine